Who is better? Vegeta vs. Yamcha
by the brainless wonder
Summary: This is crazy, and a good way to waste time. Its basically in the shape of a gameshow thingy. UGH! you will have to see for yourself^_^Part 2 now up!! How will Vegeta cope with the loss of his water bottle? AND I FIXED CHAPTER 2, SO NOW YOU CAN READ IT!!i
1. Default Chapter

Who is better? Vegeta vs. Yamcha!  
By: The Brainless Wonder  
  
A/N: I sit as I write this, and wonder, do I really have anything else better to do?... NAH! So, here I am writing this fic for the second time. I came up with the idea at 1 o'clock in the morning. And you people know where it goes from there. So, anywho R&R and tell me what you think. Flames are okay, but no cursing because...well because I said so!  
Disclaimer: ::insert disclaimer that's on everyone else's disclaimer here:: yeah yeah, no credit taken for me. On forth with the fic!  
  
::Audience screams and shouts like wild ferrets:: "Hello Everybody, and welcome to the first edition of 'Who is better?' said Mr. Popo the gameshow host. "We have an exciting game for you today! And I swear it's better than the flowering I do in Kami's Tower!" The audience gasps. "Anyway, we have Mr. Vegeta and Yamcha here today with us, fighting over the beautiful Bulma Briefs! Is that exciting or what?" "BUT I DON'T WANT THAT CRAZY WITCH!" Screamed Vegeta loudly to everyone. "Ha! That's funny Vegeta! Let my holy self explain the rules to this game! Vegeta and Yamcha will start out with 5 points each. If either of them do something that the girl, Bulma in this case, doesn't like, the other person gains a point!" "Well, that's not fair for Vegeta! He's gonna lose!" screamed some person in the audience. "Now now folks, let's not state the obvious!" Said Mr. Popo with a grin on his evil face.   
~~~~*****~~~~  
  
Here we are at the glorious Capsule Corporation. Vegeta slowly crawls on the floor towards the refrigerator. "Water, must have water, cannot live without water!" Vegeta gasped as he crawled over the fridge. Once again, he had been training to hard in the gravity's chamber. Yamcha walks pass Vegeta, opens the fridge, grabs a water bottle and starts gulping it down. "Oh, hiya Vegeta! You aren't going to try and kill me today are you?" Yamcha asked with concern. Vegeta glared at Yamcha as he took another drink of the water. Yamcha saw Vegeta glaring at him...so, he ran out of the kitchen. For every five minutes Vegeta crawled one whole entire inch. Fifteen minutes later Yamcha came running back in the kitchen. "Vegeta! Save yourself! SHE is coming! Hide, run, do something!" Yamcha said in a panicked state of tone. Vegeta's eyes widened in utter terror. Poor Vegeta could only crawl, and by the time she got there it was too late. "WHY WEREN'T YOU AT OUR DATE LAST NIGHT?" Bulma yelled across the kitchen. After the thirty minutes it took for Vegeta and Yamcha to gain back their sense of hearing, Bulma had calmed down. "Well, you see Bulma...I forgot to tie my shoelace?" Yamcha said in a sorry excuse. Vegeta silently snickered on the ground. Vegeta just gained five points.  
  
"What do you mean you forgot to tie your shoelace! I already told you how to tie them last week!" Vegeta gasped at how easy Yamcha is being let off. Bulma sighed, wanting to get on with life. "Oh yeah Yamcha, Krillin wanted me to ask you something." Said Bulma as she stared at Vegeta lying on the floor half dead. I DIDN'T MEAN TO GO OUT WITH MARRON LAST NIGHT, I SWEAR!" Yamcha yelled. It was silent for the next five minutes. Then Bulma turned the color of Fat Majin Buu did when he got really mad at Vegeta. "Here it comes!" Vegeta said as he braced himself for the impact. "YOU-WENT-OUT-WITH-KRILLIN'S-EX-GIRLFRIEND!!!???" Bulma screamed so loudly that the neighbor's had to put there helmets they bought for occasions like this, on their heads. While Bulma was yelling at Yamcha, by the way, Vegeta just gained 10 points. Vegeta had managed to get a water bottle.   
  
But, it was all in vain, because Bulma grabbed it and threw it at Yamcha's head. It hit Yamcha square in the head and he fell backwards on the ground. "No---NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" And right then and there, Vegeta turned his awaited power, Super Saiyan!   
  
~~~~****~~~~  
  
"As you can see audience, this is how Vegeta really turned Super Saiyan." Said Mr. Popo said proudly. "Everything you thought about Vegeta turning Super Saiyan was a lie!" The audience gasped and ooh'ed and ah'ed. "And as exciting as this is, we have to go to commercials!"   
  
~~~~****~~~~  
  
DBZ Announcer: It's here. Its what you've been waiting for your whole life. Mr. Satan underwear for boys! It comes in all sizes and it has seven pairs for each day of the week! Buy now and save nothing at all! You can pay buy credit card and if you do, you won't get it back! And if you order now, you get the set of Videl underwear for girls!   
Call 1-800-WE-HAVE-NOTHING-BETTER-TO-SELL! ( I hope this isn't a real phone #...that'd be weird.)   
  
~~~~****~~~~  
  
"Hello fellow people, and we are back to your favorite game show! At this time, we are going to ask a audience member what they think of this great game show!" Says Mr. Popo. He walks over to a girl in the front row. "Hello miss, and what do you think?" "Yee-haw. All I know is that I don't want little girls running around with me on their butt!" Videl said angrily.  
  
Well, people, I am going to stop this here. And I would like to know if I should continue. Its up to you people. And, if you would like me to do another couple, I will gladly do so, but know yaio or yuri couples! R&R please - the brainless wonder  
  



	2. Who is better? Vegeta vs. Yamcha Part 2

Who is better: Vegeta or Yamcha? Part 2  
By: The Brainless Wonder   
  
A/N: Hello again my people! I have come to the discovery that some people think this is stupid. That might be true, (and it is) but notice this is in the humor section and ANYTHING can come out the humor section. And for anybody, who likes Yamcha, in no way am I trying to be mean to him. He is just another character that gets in the way of Vegeta being on my television screen^_^ and I have nothing against him. And I know it's better starting a paragraph when someone is talking, but sadly I am a very lazy person...or maybe I will start doing that...  
  
Disclaimer: I dare ya to sue me for doing absolutely nothing. Okay, people I was kidding...I don't own DBZ and that's a big surprise for ya.   
  
Part 2  
  
"Now while these great things have been happening, the author of this story has not bothered keeping track of the points for each contestant. Isn't she just great?" Mr. Popo.  
"If that's what you want to call her!" Videl yelled, still mad about the underwear incident.   
"Yes, that's what we want to call her, remember here she is an author and she can do many scary and unwanted things to us all. BEWARE!" I zapped Mr. Popo for giving me a bad title. "Anyway, back to the action!"  
~~~~****~~~~  
"My water...you killed it...the water, never even had a chance...how could you?" Vegeta said, as he looked water spilled on the floor.  
"Uh...gosh, I didn't know you would react this way...um, it was Yamcha's fault...yeah, that's it, Yamcha's fault. Bulma could swear Vegeta felt sorry for the bottle of water. But, she quickly trashed that thought.  
"His fault you say?" Vegeta got up and walked over to Yamcha. "Why? Why my water? What did it ever do to you?" Vegeta yelled. Out of nowhere Goku appeared with his usual big, goofy grin on his face. "As if my day needed to get any worse!" Vegeta said as he ran off to his room.   
"What's with him?" Goku asked utterly confused...as always.   
Bulma sighed. "What do you need Goku?" She said hoping it didn't have the words 'spar, food, and I got kicked out by Chichi' in it.   
'Well you see, I accidentally threw Chichi into the wall because I keep forgetting my strength. So to make a long story short, she said to leave for an hour, so I was wondering if Vegeta wanted to spar after I catch a quick bite here." Said Goku happily.  
"NOOOOOOO!" yelled Bulma as she fell on her knees. But, what can you really expect from a Saiyan...not much. "You know what, just because Yamcha isn't a Saiyan, I am gonna give him five points!" Bulma said while she got up.   
"Woohoo! Take that Vegeta! I have five points...Wait a second, what's so good about getting five points?" Yamcha asked curiously.  
"Got me! I have absolutely no clue, but Mr. Popo said to give them to people...he never said whom though. Bulma said as she handed Goku five points.  
~~~~****~~~~  
  
"Oh my...what have I done? Now she will start handing them to anybody! Oh for the love of artificial cheese! Somebody has to stop this madness! It's mind-boggling!" Mr. Popo said as he ran around in circles.   
Videl stands up and grabs the microphone out of Mr. Popo's hands. "Out of my curiosity, who here is wearing underwear with me on it?" All of the female audience members raise their hands. She looks to her left and sees a male audience member raising his hand. "AH! You people need lives!" Videl says right before fainting.  
  
~~~~****~~~~  
  
"Okay Yamcha, since Chichi isn't here, you will have to cook in replace of her. So get out the weapon and spoon, and start cooking!" Goku ordered.   
"No way man. What do I look like? A cook?" Yamcha asked while laughing.   
Goku turned Super Saiyan and glared at Yamcha. "MAKE MY FOOD!" Goku yelled. "KA-ME-HA-ME--  
"And just what do you think your doing mister?" Bulma asked.   
Goku looked at the ground and stared at his feet. "Nothing Ms. Bulma."   
"Now apologize, while I go torture something and no turning Super Saiyan while I'm around mister." Said Bulma glaring. Bulma walked out of the kitchen to go upstairs to see what the heartbroken Vegeta was doing.   
Goku watched Bulma walk out of the kitchen. He powered back up. "Now, as I was saying, start cooking."  
"Y-yes M-master...what weapon were you talking about again?" Yamcha asked very scared.   
"That's much better. I was talking about the weapon Chichi always bangs me on the head with!" Goku said as he remembered the painful memories. (Gotta love those husband and wife relationships!)   
"Oh. You must mean a frying pan." Said Yamcha.  
~~~~****~~~~  
  
Bulma walked up stairs and knocked on Vegeta's door. "Vegeta, what are you doing?" she asked not really wanting to know. Vegeta opened the door and he was wearing only black, and she leaned over his shoulder to see a box with a bottle in it. "Um, you wouldn't happen to be...having a funeral for this bottle of water would you?" Bulma asked suspiciously.   
"This bottle of water? Is that how you think of it? Just a bottle of water? It's more than a bottle of water. It was a friend, a friend you could rely on, a friend who would always be there for you." Vegeta said proudly.   
"And that had to be the scariest thing I ever heard. You know, you can get another bottle of water. There are more in the fridge." Bulma said, trying hard not to make Vegeta sound stupid. "And just to make you happy I am going to give you two points." Bulma handed Vegeta the two points.   
"Before I quickly forget about my bottle of water, it had a death wish." Said Vegeta sullenly.   
"A death wish?"   
"Yes. That is what I said. A death wish." It was quiet for a moment or two. "Anyway, he said that he wanted to get more points than loser Yamcha did. And now, that's my goal in life!" Vegeta said with dignity.   
"You know what? You do that. And I shall sit back and watch." They both walked down stairs and back to the kitchen. Vegeta of course went to the fridge and soon got another bottle of water while death glaring Yamcha.   
"Hey everybody, guess what? Yamcha can't cook worth a pony." Said Goku trying to break up the silence. Vegeta just continued glaring at Yamcha, Bulma kept hitting her head against the table, and Goku just kept blabbering something about ponies and Al Gore.   
~~~~****~~~~  
  
Dbz Announcer: Hello everybody. I now have another worthless product to sell. The wonderful people at Capsule Corporation have made another useless product. Its called 'I-don't-know-I-just-hit-this-button'. You get this gun looking zapper thingy and hit this really shiny and pretty button and aim in at somebody. And instantly they become stupider than they already were. Don't you just love these Capsule Corp. items. They are just great! Buy now for $50.73. YES! We said $97.24! Is that a reasonable price or what? Call 1-800-WE-KNOW-PEOPLE-LOVE-WASTING-THEIR-MONEY-IF-THEY-BUY-THIS. Call that number now and you'll receive a copy of 'The History of Yajerobi, Master Roshi, and Puar: The Forgotten Characters'!  
  
Well people I am done for this chapter. I will come out with the next chapter shortly. Now, I am not sure if this is better than the first or worse. You tell me. R&R!!! -the brainless wonder  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	3. Who is better? Vegeta vs. Yamcha Part 3

Who is Better

Who is Better? Vegeta vs. Yamcha 

Part 3: The Race

By: The Brainless Wonder

A/N: Sorry for taking a little while to get this out. I was busy with 'Bra's Sleepover'. Anywho, once again I am not sure how funny this will be, you'll just have to see! 

Disclaimer: I wish I was making money off of this story, but I'm not. Guess why? Because I don't own db/dbz/dbgt! Suprising isn't it? Of course it is. 

****

Part Three: The Race

"We are back, and we are getting tons of calls for the products that are sponsoring this game show! Thank you, thank you very much" Mr. Popo said like Elvis Presley. Gohan soon busted through the studio. 

"OKAY, WHO BOUGHT THE LAST PAIR OF UNDERWEAR?" Gohan yelled. Videl ran up to Gohan with a smile on her face. 

"I'm glad I'm not the only sane person here!" Videl said. 

"Actually, I was mad because someone bought the last pair with Mr. Satan on them." Gohan said scratching head. Videl face faulted. 

"Why? Why me? All I ever did was save you people, and this is how I am repaid, by buying stupid underwear. It's just not fair." Videl cried to herself. Gohan pointed to someone in the crowd. 

"YOU? You bought the last pair didn't you?" Gohan pointed at Oolong while yelling. "You disgust me pig, wearing them on your head like that, give them too me!" Gohan said as he powered up to Super Saiyan. Soon, there was a frantic chase around the audience members and they were soon ignored. 

"Oooookkkkaayyy, back to the Real World, last time you were here, Vegeta and the gang," Mr. Popo said before he was interrupted. 

" 'Vegeta and the gang'? What is this, Scooby Doo?" Asked Tien, who was also in the audience…just like all of the dbz gang.

"Yeah! I agree with the three-eyed freak!" Said Piccolo. Soon, all of the audience was beating up, poor Mr. Popo. And the author soon got over it. 

"Uh…Ow…that was my eye…back to the show…ugh." Mr. Popo falls over unconscious and the paramedics come to get him.

~~~~****~~~~

"So Bulma, you look nice today…with your big Afro," Yamcha said, referring to the style she had during the Trunks Saga. 

"Stop sucking up, moron." Vegeta said. 

"How was that sucking up?" Yamcha asked.

"Good point. Nothing can be a compliment with that kind of hair." Everybody was truly bored to the point that they were talking about hair, well Yamcha was trying to sound nice to get some points, but everything he said ended up coming out wrong. Well, that's Yamcha for you.

"UGH! I can't take this anymore! Bulma, are you going to give your points to your boyfriend or your future husband?" Goku asked, but then covered his mouth after he realized what he said. 'Oops, Trunks said not to tell! What am I going to do?' Goku thought to himself. 

"EW! I'd never be her husband," Vegeta leaned over to Yamcha, "She has cooties!" Vegeta whispered. 

"You'd think some people grow up over the years, but I guess not…" Bulma said. "But good question, who should I give my points to? I should go see Mr. Popo so I can find out what I should do with them."

"Or you could totally forget that idea, and give them to me, so I can avenge my bottle of water." Vegeta suggested.

"ENOUGH WITH THE BOTTLE OF WATER ALREADY! Gosh, I said I was sorry, what more could you want?" Yamcha asked. 

"To gain all the points, and your death." 

"I'll die before I give you my points!" Yamcha declared, trying to sound heroically. 

"That can be arranged." Vegeta said in a dull voice.

"Shut-up you two, I am leaving to go find Mr. Popo! So, good riddance." Bulma walked out of the kitchen. Of course, they followed her…well, except for Goku, he went back to go torture his poor unfortunate wife, who just happened to marry him. In some freaky and unimaginable way, Bulma arrived at the Kami Tower before Vegeta and Yamcha did. 

"Mr. Popo? Where are you, oh freaky one?" Bulma yelled and asked. Unfortunately, for Bulma, the only person there was Master Roshi. "For the love of authors that write scary fanfiction, what are you doing here?" Bulma asked. 

"Phew, I thought you were one of those scary female vampires who are out to get me, and my beautiful self." Said Master Roshi, sighing with relief. Bulma's eye started twitching. "Mr. Popo went on a "trip" to a hospital, because a three-eyed freak and a green guy beat him up." 

"Are you implying that you are the guardian of the Earth right now?"   
"Yes, yes I am, well I wasn't exactly a couple of minutes ago, but Kami decided to go on a smoking break. So, I volunteered to take over for awhile." Master Roshi said while grinning the evil sinister grin. 

"Oh for the love of artificial cheese, were all going to die!" Bulma started running around in circles. Meanwhile, back to Yamcha and Vegeta…

"GIVE ME YOUR POINTS!" Vegeta roared, oh how he roared. 

"Never! My mommy said to never give points to people with smelly feet and when they use a bad brand of toothpaste!" Yamcha declared. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a pigeon came in and grabbed Vegeta's points, but sadly Vegeta shot it with a ki blast and it fell down dead. But, the points slowly, fell towards the ground. 

~SLOW MOTION!!!!!!!~ (Which means that their voice is low to! ^_^)

"NO!" Vegeta said in a LOW voice. They both headed toward the points, running ever so slowly. Vegeta starts heading towards Yamcha and shoved him on the ground. And the time went back to regular. And then, to everybody's nightmare, Goku appeared right on the seen. Almost liked it was planned. 

"Hey guys, what's up?" Goku asked as he noticed the points on the ground. "Oh, these are those things Bulma gave me! Awesome, Chichi said to get some if I could, followed by a really freaky laugh she gave me. Woah, freaky flashbacks!" 

A/N: Okay, stopping here! Oh no! Now that Goku's in the lead, what ever shall happen? What will this world come to? I don't know, but please have patience and wait for the next chapter! R&R! Please, I beg of you!


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